envy you ladies. Choosing a best man and ushers seems to be a walk in the park
compared to the minefield that is the female side of your beautiful day. I
often wonder, when I am photographing a wedding and a bride has six or seven
adult bridesmaids alongside a handful of flower girls, if she just couldn't
cope with the stress of whittling her choice down so asked everyone who could
lay claim on the role.
It may be me but women seem to have lots of categories of 'best' friends. There may be the one from primary school, then the one from college, next is the one or more from uni. Then there will be your first housemate from your first proper job. Then you have your sister or even worse if you have sisters. Not to mention neices, god daughters and your intended's sister. All too quickly you can be nearing double figures. That's not even factoring how you choose the role of chief bridesmaid.
With the man there is usually one clear front runner, a brother or oldest mate, I have asked my male friends and they don't seem to be owning up to having different categories of best friends. All the other mates don't really mind if they don't get the role, as it is frankly a bit intimidating to deliver a first-class award-winning best man's speech. All the others get to be ushers and ingratiate themselves to the single girls at the wedding - bonus.
As a bloke, my untested blokey advice is to choose the person you would ring in a crisis. As those skills will be tested in the months leading up to your wedding. The one you won't mind telling you that you've gone a bit bridezilla and it doesn't really matter if the Pantone of the napkins doesn't match the usher's cravat perfectly. The friend who can have a lovely polite word with your mum about the massive hat she has her heart set on but in reality it looks a bit like a colony of butterflies have set up home in her hair. The one that can organise a hen-do that you want and everyone can afford and promises faithfully not to send you on a budget airline trip to Kavos and dress you in Barbie pink tutus.
And again, in my blokey opinion all the others should, if they really are 'best' friends, just be happy for you. But if you are worried then you can placate some by asking them to read a poem, bake the cake, be a witness... You and your chief bridesmaid will be able to get a job in the United Nations Peace Corps once your big day arrives. As I said - I don't envy you.